screaming for genius

Scenario: Your average 18-24 year old music "fan" hears "The Widow" by the Mars Volta for the first time on KROQ or another Clear Channel or Infinity station. "Wow," he says, "that sounds alot like [insert generic radio rock band]. Except better. I could totally go to a concert of theirs and wave my lighter in the air, then maybe tell some chick the song reminds me of her. Man, this dude plays guitar really good." He proceeds to buy Francis The Mute and completely freaks out. Refuses to listen to Hoobastank ever again. The Mars Volta blow up and take over the world.

Scenario: Your average 18-24 year old music snob hears "The Widow" by the Mars Volta for the first time on Indie 103. "Wow," he says, "that sounds alot like a power ballad, but better. Shit, listen to Omar shred! Such angular guitar work! Man, I bet this album will blow up, and the Volta will take over the world." He proceeds to buy Francis The Mute, and completely freaks out upon hearing the second half of "The Widow," which isn't on the radio edit, wherein guitar and effects flange in and out like a Pink Floyd jam and Cedric sings underwater. He freaks out again upon hearing "l'Via l'Viaquez," wherein Deloused-esque choruses flip into Cuban son breakdowns and back again, Cedric sings in Spanish, and the whole thing ends with a piano solo that sounds like an Omar guitar line fucking a Thelonious Monk record, in Havana. He freaks out again upon hearing "Miranda That Ghost Just Isn't Holy Anymore," wherein two trumpet players perform Sketches Of Spain over effects-pedal mayhem. "Omar plays guitar like COLTRANE," he thinks. He freaks out once more upon hearing "Cassandra Gemini," since it is the most coherent (and longest, at 31:27) song on the record, amazed at how the Mars Volta manages to jam solid for 22 minutes straight before falling back and resurrecting the ghost of Pharoah Sanders, who blows a ridiculous fusion solo, finally letting Cedric and Omar take it home in the same way they opened the record. Afterward, he can't sleep for weeks. The Mars Volta do blow up and take over the world.